Dear Anne, age 14: Stop looking in the mirror. Just stop. News flash: You’re still flat-chested. There’s nothing there. Zip, zilch, nada. You’re 4’11”. You barely weigh 90 pounds. Strangers think you’re 10. Mom sneaks you into movies at the under-12 price. You eat off the kiddie menu in restaurants….
The night your dream comes true, everything should go according to plan. Your groomsman zooms your pumpkin coach along the carpool lane past traffic, and finds the site of the ball without GPS. The hipster clerk greets you warmly, and one of your besties is already there with her daughter….
In less than four weeks, I get to scratch “publish novel” off my bucket list and remove “wannabe” from in front of “author” on my life resume. This should be exciting, right? So why are my palms sweating? Well, I find myself neck-deep in publicity plans, not a good thing…
Vanity, thy name is Anne. That’s me! This week, I spent obscene sums on new glasses, very fancy, and teeth whitening. And skincare products, though a “Benny” card paid for that. I’m considering Juvederm in my lips too. And no, it’s not in response to this very apt article, though…
I had a brief but unsettling encounter with normal children yesterday. That word, normal, looks like it should be in quotes. Maybe it should. And maybe I have no idea what normal looks like. First, by way of background, I teach at the McNerd Academy of Nerdy Nerds. Not an…
My publisher sent me an egg. This isn’t just any egg. It’s MY egg, the one that makes a cameo appearance in The Temple of Doubt, my very first book. I plan to use it for business cards, and as a stencil for all my walls, and maybe for tattoos….
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